Life Goes On
"Sometimes it is not the person we miss; it is the feeling you had when you were with them."
Michael had always been friendly, cheerful and extroverted. As an ambitious and workaholic youth, he managed to touch new horizons and accomplish most of his professional aspirations. He earned pretty well and had the opportunity to travel the world while his contemporaries struggled to leave a mark. Now in his mid-seventies, his mind is full of regrets and unfulfilled desires. Yes, somewhere he failed, something went wrong, and it is too late to lament because that had already taken a toll on him.
He is depressed and lonely, annoyed with everything that happens around him. People around him find it difficult to put up with his grumpy nature, and other inmates of his old age home often crib about his arrogance and constant chiding. Sleeplessness makes him wild. He is very different from whom he used to be earlier. Now he keeps mostly to himself and likes to be alone in his world of thoughts. Michael's only mode of relaxation is his daily stroll to the nearby lake. He stares at the water for hours on end, pondering and sometimes sobbing. This behavioural change hit him all of a sudden a couple of years ago, after the loss of the love of his life.
Sarah was a lovely woman with a pure heart. She was just not like Michael although she was a fun loving person. Her simplicity and grace were admired by many. Amidst Michael's busy work life, Sarah somehow managed to keep their little world intact. But Michael's priorities were different even though he loved her more than anyone else in the world. Years passed, Sarah and Michael were blessed with two wonderful sons, loving and as career-oriented as their dad. They are well settled now, married and busy with their own lives. Michael never blamed them for his miserable state. He does not want them to take his responsibility; instead, he advises them to focus on their personal lives, which Michael himself failed to cherish. The past five decades of his life were worthless and did not provide any good memories. He now looks down on himself with contempt. Sarah's sudden death and old age shook him completely and made him a miserable person. He has nothing left in his life. All the money he earned in his lifetime is absolutely useless at the moment. Sorrow and grief have become his companions. He realised that he has no friends, relatives or loved ones, not even his own self. At this point, he misses only one thing - Sarah.
Sarah had been a tremendous source of motivation and had stood by him through thick and thin. She was his pillar of support and made him complete. Even today, Michael wonders what made him spend very little time with his wife during his professional years. How could he ignore the angel in her? These thoughts suffocate him.
As he stares at the lake, tears rolled down his wrinkled cheeks. Feeble murmurs and deep breaths dissolved in the air. A whole lifetime had been wasted on achieving professional satisfaction, something that hardly has any importance on him or the people whom he worked for. Nobody visits him and praises about his invaluable contribution to the Company. Nobody admires the sincere employee in him. Nobody even cares where and what a miserable state he is in today. Nobody talks about the presentations and meetings he had conducted. Nobody has the time and energy to think of a Michael who once existed. Had he invested a fraction of his precious time in Sarah, at least she would have died a happy woman.